Sexuality wisdom

“Eventually we realize our Middle School Sex Ed Teacher was a lying son of a gun, and sex isn’t bad and scary but fun and pleasurable.”

I subscribe to a blog post service call Medium  which has many categories giving me access to a wide variety of writers. The one I read today discussed women and porn.

Turns out, however, there was a broader subject: the shame, created by parents and teachers, of sexual activity.  The writer suggests that if you actually watch porn

“…you’ll have to face the consequences of your sins — right along with a heaping serving of sexual shame — heavy enough to topple your paper plate at the next congregation pot luck.

I suggest you follow the link above and read the article but here is what I think is crux:

 

“A message to other women who watch porn.

I see you and I’m sorry.

I’m sorry the world has told you that your sexual desires are dirty.

I’m sorry we have been conditioned to believe that we should either repress our sexual desires into oblivion or hide them away from the world.

I’m sorry that men have been allowed to biologically explain away their brutish sexual appetites, yet us women are forced to play the role of a pristine virgin to avoid becoming a social outcast.

Most of all, I’m sorry that you’ve been silenced and I want you to know there are plenty of other women just like you and me.”

 

I think that does it for me. First of all, I am male and, as such, there is a limit to how much I can contribute about a female’s experience. Secondly, and most importantly, she has expressed what I would have if I could. Please read the whole blog. I think it is some “sexual wisdom” we all need to understand.

 

The meaning of cunt, the most offensive curse word in English, is actually based in female sexual empowerment — Quartz

Certain curse words get undeserved bad reputations. Here’s one you may want to integrate into your vocabulary, despite how uncomfortable it may make you feel.
— Read on qz.com/1045607/the-most-offensive-curse-word-in-english-has-powerful-feminist-origins/amp/

Anti-abortion people forget to mention…

“…But every night the men would come around and lay their money down…”
  -Cher’s Gypsies, tramps and thieves                

…that pregnancy require a male’s sperm. As that great American philospher, Homer Simpson, would say, “DUH!”

Of course, they know this but, if they, with incredible inhumanity, can just keep the woman’s body in the headlines, hardly anyone will hold the men responsible.

What is that all about? Could be that they are following thousands of year of “best practices”. Men do what they want to, women have to get their approval. Including, apparently, men who are rapists or a women’s male family member.

What if, for every woman who wants an abortion, there was a man who, without an opinion about her decison, was supportive and willing to share financial responsiblity?

What if all the Republican white males who know they can garner votes by being so outrageous about abortion were to crawl back in their holes and let sensible people act?

Do me and yourself a big, smart favor. Never talk about abortion, pro or con, without thinking, and maybe mentioning, the men who shared in the conception.

Potty Mouth 2

One of the most fascinating things about the 2008 Presidential primary was a snag that Obama ran into about his church affiliation. Trinity United Church of Christ is a very large and active congregation on Chicago‘s Southside. We were proud that the Barach and Michelle were members there, but that came to be a problem for him.

Dr. Jeremiah Wright, a former pastor of Trinity, had been Barach’s “spiritual mentor” and even inspired him to state publically that he was a Christian.  However, Wright, a fiery preacher of black liberation theology, became a political albatross in the primary race for Obama challenging Clinton. It is a long and involved story but at the kernel was a quote from a Wright sermon in which he said: 

The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing “God Bless America.” No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme.

It is is one of those, “you had to be there” things. For all the issues surrounding the racist behavior of the US government, Wright’s comments made perfect sense but the furor over Obama’s affiliation was a firestorm.  Obviously it all worked out in the long run but it was a sad day when Obama had to disassociate himself from Trinity.

Is saying “goddamn” that much worse than any other striking curse? Well, maybe. You would have go back and study the Ten Commandments to see more clearly what it mean to avoid using the lord’s name in vain. The most challenging and annoying swear word used to be “fuck” and its derivatives but social media had changed all that. So for me, for whatever reason “goddamn” is reserved for something that goes beyond the run-of-the-mill offenses.  I will say that It has popped into my mind more and more as we see American going even down hill from the thoughts of Jeremiah Wright. Trump and his crazy actions definitely inspire “goddamn” much more often for me. How about you?

Potty Mouth

Is this you? Apparently it is illegal in some places

I’ve wanted to write about profanity for a long time but I just couldn’t get my shit together.

Did I stop you, even for just a second, with the “bad word”? Why? Would it have made a difference had I put it “sh**t”?

So-called swearing or cursing bothers a lot of us. From a “Language!” admonition all the way to demanding a US Representative resign, the reaction to certain English words is universal.

When I was a college pre-ministerial student, I attended Southside Estates Methodist Church in Jacksonville and was invited to preach my first sermon there. As I am sure you can guess, it was far from a memorable gem but I worked hard on it and put myself into it. So, after the service, I hoped for at least a little positive reaction from the minister of the church. His first words: “I am very disappointed that you used the word ‘darn’ because you know it means ‘damn’.” (If this seems too much to believe, I have dozens more examples from those Methodist days)

So, they supposed a minister using this kind of language to be a sin and I can’t tell you how many times over the years when a swear word was followed by “Sorry, Reverend.” I don’t when or where I finally got past that but a big influence was our wonderful Wisconsin Association Minister, Jim Savides, who to say he “swore like a sailor” was to put it mildly

In our family, we seem to have to unconsiously moved far beyond that a very long time ago. When our intrepid daughter turned out to have no qualms about using her sparkly language around her parents and when we in turn had no adverse reaction we were there.

Reaction and worry about certain “bad” words probably won’t go away. However, give credit where credit is due. When Rep. Rashida Tlaib referred to our dear President as “motherfucker” how much more of a perfect description do you want?

Not Today, Death

Even if you declared NEVER to GoT, this meditation will stick with you.

Michelle L. Torigian

This contains Game of Thrones season 8, episode 3 spoilers.

FBB2E8EC-D476-40AF-811E-06F84D20913FNot today, Death.

Now, I haven’t been on the Game of Thrones bandwagon too long. But since I’ve been watching the past two seasons in real-time and now going back to watch from the beginning, I’m seeing a phrase that Arya Stark learns in season one and follows her into the intense moments of season eight: “Not today, Death.”

This phrase gave Arya the energy she needed to rise about the negativity, the doubt, the potential death she could be facing and take care of a major, necessary task which would save Winterfell and many, many people.

Being people who live into resurrection, we as the followers of Jesus the Christ embrace this statement each year through the season of Easter. Death could not contain the Christ and his love in a tomb. Death could not stop the movement of…

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As we grow old

Quiet, soft wisdom

Mizana Gheezhik (Sen. Murray Sinclair)

As we grow old
the ground we walk on
rises up
so that,
as each of those few moments
left to us
pass by
and we grow old
and hair turns greyer still
we move a bit more slowly.
At such a speed,
we can see around us
more of life today
and feel we understand 
the present 
more,
for we have lived
among the weeds
and trees,
from which it came.
And we have much we want
and need
to say.
But, sometimes,
no one asks

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